The Fear Of Standing Out

Posted: April 8, 2010 in Creating Abundance
Tags: , , , , , ,

Are You Affraid To Stand Out In The Crowd?

Have you ever been in a situation where you were not comfortable to stand out in front of the crowd for Fear of looking silly?

Within my nursing course I have come across The Fear Of Standing Out. It is not the easiest feeling to overcome 🙂

It also makes you feel like you are not worthy.

Yesterday I was at my course in Caloundra, at a table of six women. We had a group activity to complete as a Team. After saying my answer for the first half of the question I was too upset to continue to speak out loud. One of the girls was laughing and giving me funny looks – then looking across the room to her friend who also gave funny looks back and forward to.

How Would You Feel?

I felt like that I was standing out in the crowd, and being put down. So I let The Fear Of Standing Out take over my personality and sat quietly for the rest of the group activity. I actually did not join in with the group discussion, and sat with my own thoughts, writing them into my answers.

When it was time for our group to present our answers as a group I was glad that I was not choosen as a Spoke person because my answers were different to the rest of the group. When our group presented to the room, their answers were wrong. I was so close to wanting to poke my tongue out, and say “Suck It UP” but I was smiling inside, and sitting quielty in the classroom.

I let The Fear Of Standing Out rule my way of thinking and for that I am madly upset. Why should two women behave in a way that makes me feel dis-empowered and shot my self esteem to the ground.

Today I made sure that I was in control of my feelings. I kept away from the two ladies, parnters in crime and made sure that I could not see them while I was sitting. I let go of The Fear Of Standing Out and became a part of the group today, and a part of the class room once again.

How Do You Cope With The Fear Of Standing Out?

Lisa Wood

  1. For many years I did exactly what you described, I cowered instead of stood up even when knowing I was right when the others were turned in the opposite direction. I couldn’t stand myself for that so I changed my attitude. I realized that I would stand higher when I stood, was prouder for doing so and achieved more by experiencing not only the rejection but the success as well.

    The two girls are immature and jealous, teach them with kindness, Lisa. Teach them by being yourself.

    • Lisa Wood says:

      Hello Sarah,

      It sure takes courage to stand above the crowd 🙂 Thank you for letting me know that I am not the only one who is experiencing this situation. I am slowly learning to stand tall and proud.

      Cheers for your kind words

  2. I definately have a fear of standing out. I won’t even wear anything different which will make people look at me . How silly is that? It all comes down to confidence and self esteem. Those women who were sniggering are obviously lacking confidence in themselves and I agree with Sarah, don’t sink to their level, but treat them with kindness and you will have a lot more self respect then they do at the end of the day.

    • Lisa Wood says:

      Hello Jackie,

      Thanks for your comment. Isn’t funny how as kids we are not afraid to stand out because we do not realise that we could be judged – yet as adults we are not comfortable in our own skin? I think that the two ladies are lacking, but its a shame because deep down they are great people. I am now sitting away from their table so that I am being true to myself.


  3. Hi Lisa,

    If you come to the realisation that everyone else is somewhat afraid too, it makes it easier.

    You can also give yourself permission to become another more confident person for the next 5 minutes. Once you do, step away from your old person and it’s lights, camera ACTION!

    Memorise the first line you’re going to say, then it will flow from there.

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